I will not lie, I was feeling VERY unmotivated to write. Sorry Mom. I had been traveling to a lot of really cool places, I just wanted some time to digest all the feelings I was having. I was feeling if I just wrote everything I wasn’t going to have anything profound to write about. In retrospect, I wish I had just written everything for the simple idea of consistency, but what are we going to do about it now?

I was really blessed during February to get to travel to Vienna, Budapest, Athens, and Milan. I fostered some really amazing friendships. I am learning more about myself as I am traveling with others. I am recognizing a lot of the tendencies from my parents that I am carrying out on these trips. I am appreciating alone time a lot more than I thought I would.

The first big thing that has really been on my heart is that I can just see how good God is. In the little details to His grand plan, I can see His beauty more in Greece and while I’ve been traveling to different cities. He is good not just in my life, but everywhere, always.

I find a lot of beauty in sunsets but being able to see the sunset reflect off the water is something I never really got growing up in Colorado, and it’s one thing that I will miss dearly about this country. The colors, timing, the vastness of everything has been overwhelming.

Obviously with the Coronavirus spreading to Europe, there were a lot of things I was worried about. I was worried about being sent home early and cutting my trip in Europe short. As I was returning from Milan, we saw how bad it was getting in Italy then I got nervous that I wasn’t going to be able to go home even if I wanted to because that would be putting myself at more risk for getting the virus.

My friends and I were asked to go into quarantine Wednesday afternoon because of our recent trip to Milan, just in case we had contracted the virus and started showing symptoms. We weren’t thrilled by the idea, but I knew if we were healthy that it would just be time to be safe and know for sure.

I knew that my friends were willing to get food for us and I am so thankful that they were willing to do that for me. Being stuck in a room was going to be tough, but I tried to keep an open mind about it. I tried to stick to a relative schedule so I didn’t go crazy. I definitely caught up on my sleep because since we got back from Milan on a red eye, I had been really exhausted. I caught up on the journaling I was behind on and did a lot of thinking.

SOME BIG TAKEAWAYS:

-It’s our job as consumers to know news outlets are making money, there is truth to what they are reporting, but every word they use can change the story in their favor. You need to be smart enough to know when they are just trying to scare you or when they are presenting a fair argument.

-Just like any other diseases, this virus doesn’t care if you’re black, old, Jewish, skinny, or whatever. You can contract this thing whoever and wherever you are. I think people were justifying being irresponsible for the fact that the virus was killing the elderly, but if you have it and it was in your lungs, who is to say you would be healthy enough to fight it off?

-Rules are put in for a reason. If you want to fight it, then present a logical alternative solution. Instead of just sitting there pouting and not even asking the right people, your complaints bring nothing productive to the table. There are plenty of other things that you could be doing other than complain.

-Alone time isn’t always bad. You need to know how to be by yourself. There’s a beauty in silence and knowing that you can get lost in your thoughts. We live in a society where every little second needs to be filled in order to feel fulfilled, and I think that’s really toxic. Learn to be independent and be okay with just sitting there, because honestly, life is just too short.

-You are in charge of one body. Your thoughts, your actions, your words are all your responsibility. You can’t change how other people will react. Don’t waste your breath on something you can’t take responsibility for. If you can’t, then don’t do it.

-Some films are best left in their native languages. Subbed>Dubbed. Studio Ghibli films on Netflix, I’m speaking directly to you.

Overall, it has been quite the experience, I got some alone time, I was able to appreciate the little things and I got to do things that I had been leaving off for a while. I am glad I got to experience it. It seemed overly cautious, but I am glad that the school took these kinds of precautions for the sake of other students. It seems extra because we ended up being healthy, but if something were to happen, I’m glad we had a plan in place.

I am extremely grateful to the kind messages I was receiving from my friends, family, and members of my home church. I was really reflecting on my relationship to the church and my recent participation level in the church. These are questions that I was asking myself:

When you are complaining about how your church or how you feel like your pastor cares very little for you, how many times did you pray for the safety of your congregation?  When are you feel like your pastor isn’t giving you enough attention or not taking your issues seriously, did you think that maybe there are people with more pressing life threatening prayer requests and your pastor might be struggling to prioritize those requests? When you feel abandoned by your ministry, did you pray for your pastor’s spiritual battles and his relationship with his family? Did you bring your emotions to the church, or are you just gossiping?

I was very bitter towards my home church in many different ways. I was feeling unsatisfied with the amount of care I was receiving, it wasn’t until I was quarantined that I realized that maybe I wasn’t a person in the ministry that they saw as lost. They could’ve seen the other people who were struggling to believe God was REAL that my little complaints about not getting enough attention was really immature. It’s my job as a member of the church to voice when I am feeling neglected, but also to come and receive those blessings and provide a community to others, even when I don’t feel particularly fond of it. 

I was amazed by the number of people at church so messaged me privately asking for personal prayer requests and sending me encouragements. Community isn’t always fun, it is beautiful, but it is also hard. I am so thankful to have grown up at my home church and even though I have had a hard time in the last couple years, I think that’s part of the struggle of being a Christian and belonging to a body of sinners. Christ is constantly working for us and for His ministry. 

Next time you want to complain, pray for another person in your ministry first. Pray for you pastor. Pray for his wife. Pray for his children. Pray for the elders. Pray for the praise team. Pray for the welcoming team. Pray for those who recently joined your congregation. Pray for those who haven’t been to service in a while. Pray. Pray. Pray first and pray always. 

I don’t think I will ever have a more eventful February ever again in my life. It was such a whirlwind, but will be a lasting memory I am sure. I am not going to be traveling outside of Greece until the end of my trip. I will be seeing what my plans are going to be after my program gets out. I was originally supposed to stay in Europe for quite a bit, but now I am considering just flying home to be closer to my family and wait for another time for a trip to Europe. This was a long awaited update, but I was finally able to put my thoughts into words.

Thank you.

JLee