20 things I’ve learned by 20

On By jaimielee107

Today is my 20th birthday so here’s 20 things I’ve learned by 20.

  1. Listen

Beyonce is always right. You need to listen more than you are talking. Listen to your heart. Listen to people who are different from you. Listen to what God is trying to tell you. Listen. 

  1. You can’t help others if you aren’t helping yourself.

You can’t save, fix, help anyone if you aren’t whole. Don’t rip yourself apart trying to help others when you’re just hurting yourself more. 

  1. Sometimes the problem is YOU

You can blame all the people you want, but take a good look and see if YOU are the toxic one that’s hurting others. Refer back to #1

  1. You can’t buy back time

Time is gold. Use it wisely. Everyone has 24 hours in a day, but some people get 40 hours out of a day. That being said make sure you sleep. 

  1. Get over yourself

No one is actually looking at you. Just do your own thing on the plane, in the dining hall, etc. You aren’t as important as you project yourself to be. 

  1. If you’re comfortable then you are wrong

Whether it’s your walk with God, the classes you’re taking, your friend group, if you aren’t pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, are you growing? Join a new class, talk to the new kid, try the new restaurant (or better yet try something new at the restaurant you always go to) 

  1. Being skinny doesn’t affect your value 

Learn to say people look strong or that they look healthy. Being skinny should not be in our vocabulary when it has such a damaging effect on people’s self esteem. Be healthy. Be mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, and academically exercising to be a better person. 

  1. People are different, embrace it

There are 7.53 billion people on this Earth. Everyone is going to be different and you aren’t going to get along with all of them. That’s okay. Be nice. 

  1. Surround yourself with people who make you happy 

You absorb the energy of those around you, so surround yourself with people you love and people you can love back. 

  1. Your happiness begins with you

You can wait for the next big promotion at work, next paycheck, next whatever, but you’ll never be happy unless you change your perspective. 

  1. Find different ways to say I love you

Figure out your love language (how you like to give and receive love), internalize that information, and find ways to express your love to the people around you. Whether it’s a significant other, parent, friend, or mentor, I’m sure they will appreciate it too. It’s an important conversation to have to further understand each other and can mitigate a lot of conflicts in the future. 

https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/

  1. Spend more time with people younger than you

I have a younger sister and I spent a lot of time with her friends and close cousins. As annoying as they are, they are really precious and you can impact their lives in many different ways. Find a way to give back to the children in your life through a sports team, tutoring, babysitting, or through a local church. 

  1. Read a freaking book

All the smartest people I know are also the ones who read the most. If they can find time in their busy lives with kids and more adult priorities, I think we can squeeze in a book or two in our lives. 

  1. Wait until the morning to send that text

If you can’t send that text in broad daylight then don’t send it at all. 

  1. People can’t read your mind, learn to communicate

If something is bothering you THEN TELL PEOPLE. Help them not tiptoe around you and walk on eggshells because they don’t know whether you’re going to cry or punch them in the throat. 

  1. Be nice to your mom

She deserves some flowers or a smile at the very least. Moms are the best. If you don’t have a mom, then I hope you can say thank you to a mother figure around you. 

  1. Gossip is toxic

Be honest when you’re talking to people, if you don’t know something don’t say it. Don’t lie, don’t fabricate. If you wouldn’t say it to their face, then don’t say it at all. Be nice, please. 

  1. Learn to forgive

People are going to hurt you. Learn to forgive (actually forgive) quickly. Harboring anger only damages your own heart. 

  1. We aren’t going to live forever

You don’t need to kill your liver, you don’t need to eat your 4th doughnut of the day, you don’t need to binge watch Netflix, stop using “treat yourself” to treat your body like trash. You do need to drink water everyday, you do need to put SPF on, you do need to get enough sleep every day, you do need to go see the sun every day, you do need to take your makeup off EVERY NIGHT no matter how tired you are. Take care of yourself now, it’s never too early. 

  1. Fail

Failure is proof for growth. Get back up. All of the greatest athletes, leaders, entrepreneurs failed. You could be the next “GOAT” so keep going and don’t let what makes us human stop you from being great. Don’t be afraid to fail, but you can’t quit. No matter how slow you move after don’t stop. 

Here’s to another fulfilling hard memorable year.

JLee

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